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I am often all alone in a crowd. As a matter of fact, I can even be home with my family and feel lonely. Don’t get me wrong… I have an amazing family!
The problem is, I speak the love language of Quality Time.
Quality time is more than mere proximity. It’s about focus. You see, my hunny speaks words of affirmation. That’s lovely and I appreciate him very much for that. But, what makes me feel loved is when he stops to talk to me, or takes time out to go for a walk with me. It’s all about the time. I feel loved when things are planned out by him, especially time for a date night or alone time. I appreciate a hug anytime, but it’s extra special if I can tell you are not thinking about something else at the same time. Getting the drift??
People who’s love language is Quality Time will often say things like, “Let’s do something together.” “Are you listening?” “What are you thinking about?” These are all cries for Quality Time. When we get to the place where we are asking these questions, our love tank is dangerously low…
Quality conversation is also very important in any healthy relationship, but especially for Quality Time folks. Talking involves the aspects of sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context. Not only to listen, but to listen in a way that assures us that you are truly listening…
**Most of us don’t expect you to solve our problems. We just want to be heard. Though, when we ask for help– then we need your attention to help us come up with a solution.
Another important aspect of quality conversation can be self-revelation. It is only when you understand your emotions and inner feelings will you then be able to share quality conversation, and quality time with your mate. This may take some cultivating on your part, but will be well worth it! Because when our love tanks are full– we are very interested in filling yours…
Quality activities are a very important part of quality time. Many mates feel most loved when they spend physical time together, doing activities that they love to do. Spending time together will bring a couple closer, and, in the years to come, will fill up a memory bank that you can reminisce about in the future. Even watching football can be quality time, if you take a few minutes every so often to look at me and tell me why all those people just screamed…
When we were dating my love tank was always full! He wanted to know everything about me. We talked for hours a day and spent time together almost daily. Now that we have been married for 16 years, it is more of a challenge. I believe this is true with any love language, but especially so with Quality Time.
Here are some ideas for filling up your hunny’s Quality Time love tank:
- If you can’t stop to listen right then, let them know that you want to listen– but can it wait 15 minutes? We are perfectly willing to wait. Don’t forget though…
- Develop traditions that involve focused time such as having a hot beverage together in the morning or going for a walk after dinner three times a week.
- Remember to focus when you’re together. Taking your hunny out to eat doesn’t even make you any love tank points if you are preoccupied with the sports channel or your mind is a million miles away.
- While giving a hug, let them know that you think of them throughout the day, that you think they are special, and/ or what you particularly appreciate about them.
- Make a date with your loved one to talk to them in a cozy spot, even if for only 15 minutes.
- Pretend the TV is broken one night a month.
Tags: challenges, energy, Fantastic Family, freshblessings, Friends, fun, health, love language, love tank, power, quality time, rawvelous, twitter
