Do people around you feel that you love them?

Your spouse, children, parents…?

Something in our nature cries out to be loved by another. What if you could find the key that unlocks the feeling of love…   Gary Chapman feels like he has found the key.  It involves a Love Tank and a bit of investigation.

The premise is that we all speak one of the five love languages.

You can discover your love languages by finishing this little sentence:

I feel loved when…

Your answer will likely have something to do with one of these 5 areas:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Receiving Gifts
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch

I will be focusing on the different languages (and ‘dialects’ of them) over the next few posts, so stay tuned!  The first language is:

Words of Affirmation

Who doesn’t love a good compliment? We all get a little smile, a bit warm and fuzzy when people tell us that we look great or that we’re talented…

Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”

But for some of us, it’s of the utmost importance that we receive these words of affirmation.

Do you know that your spouse loves you?

Psychologists have concluded that the need to feel loved is a primary human emotional need. Believe it or not, it is very common for people to be in a relationship and not feel loved.  If your love language is words of affirmation and your hunnie’s language is acts of service, they could potentially work themselves into the ground doing things for you and you will STILL not FEEL loved…

Here’s where the Love Tank comes to play.  The Love Tank is our inner love meter.  When it is full, we are ‘in love’.  When it is empty, we feel lonely and sad.  We all have different brands of love tanks that take various fuels to make them work.

For those folks whose Love Tank runs on Words of Affirmation,

WORDS ARE IMPORTANT!

Verbal Compliments -  Encouraging Words –   Kind Words

Humble Words – Words of Appreciation

Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved.   If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

One of the exercises Gary Chapman recommends if you suspect that someone close to you may be a Words of Affirmation guy or gal is to set a goal to give them a different compliment each day for a month and see what a difference that makes.  If this is their ‘language’ you will likely begin to see results withing the first week.

To learn more about this Love Language, you can order Gary’s book for less than ten dollars!  I have been putting these principles to use for many years now and love this concept!  Get your copy here…

Related Articles: Do You Speak Love?